The truth is, people who have been cheated on tend to have trust issues. And who can blame them?
If you are dating someone who gave their heart away and got it broken, you need be understanding and very patient with them.
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After such a betrayal, it is hard for them not to be afraid of being let down. I mean, they have experienced the dark side of love and expecting them to give you their heart again can mean life and death literally because they’re already broken.
Therefore, if you find someone who has decided to take that leap of faith again, you will need to do more for them to feel truly loved and secure in your relationship.
Don’t rush them and lay everything on the table while the relationship is still fresh. Let them share their needs and fears as they continue in their journey of healing with you.
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We look at some do’s and don’ts if you are dating someone who has been cheated on.
Do affirm: One of the love languages, words of affirmation will help them know that you care and appreciate them. While you don’t always have to come up with a goofy statement every time you see them, a sincere smile and ‘‘I love you,’’ or ‘’you look amazing,’’ may be all the affirmation they need.
This way, they know they still matter in your eyes and have your attention. This works especially well for them if this is one of their key love expressions.
Don’t make them doubt: Create an environment of openness and honesty so that they can have the security and confidence they need to come out of their shells and trust again. Let them know that it is exclusively the two of you and there is no other romantic communication or connection with anyone else out there.
You must assure them that they are everything you ever wanted and you’re there for the long haul.
Know their triggers: Unless he or she has been off the dating market for a long time and they have taken the time to heal and mend their broken hearts, certain triggers will evoke emotional reactions.
A song, a restaurant or in certain instances, a sexual position may remind them of the traumatic past. As their partner, you should be more accommodating and go with their flow.
As much as it doesn’t depend on you to make up for what they went through, you can be mindful of their pain by creating a foundation of trust.
Don’t lie: Lies are their kryptonite. No matter how small the lie may be, do not do it. They will begin to question your motives and feelings.
Once that starts, doubt begins to creep in and they will pull away. In extreme circumstances they will take that as a sign to run away before the past repeats itself.
Do answer their questions: People who have been cheated on tend to ask tons of questions. They may want to know where you are, who you’re with and what you are doing.
Don’t take offense or get annoyed but be understanding: Don’t label them as insecure or paranoid. They are not accusing you of anything. The constant need to know gives them peace of mind and keeps them from overthinking.
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