Dear Aunty Aurora,
I’m a big fan of yours and I’ve been following your column for a long time. My name is Nana and I come from a family of six children. I’m Hausa and also happen to be the first born and the only girl. At the age of 13 my parents married me off to my rich 40-year-old husband with the excuse that he is willing to sponsor my education. My family was very poor, my parents didn’t have much to take care of me and my siblings. We hardly ate thrice a day and I was too young and naive that I couldn’t refuse the marriage even-though I didn’t want it. He was way older than me and I wasn’t in love with him.So we got married and I moved in with him into a new house different from that of his first wife. Just like my parents had told me, my husband had sponsored me through secondary school and university education fulfilling all my needs and desires including that of my family. After university, I did my youth service and without wasting much time, my husband got me a befitting job through his connections. Now I have a new guy of similar age with me and we love each-other, what do I do?
You said your husband had fulfilled all your needs and desires, then it wouldn’t be fair to keep deceiving him. I will implore you to try having an honest conversation with your husband and come clean before he finds out from someone else. You also have to end the relationship with your new found love. This means cutting off all contacts including emails, cellphones and all other forms of communication. Tell the person that its over and stop harboring warm affective feelings and thoughts about him. Do not yield to any temptation to return to your new lover. Focus on what is wrong with your marriage and figure out a way to work things out. Re-invest your emotion and love into your marital relationship, you may be surprised by how many of your feelings your husband shares or by the length he is willing to go to not to lose you.
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Dear Aunty Aurora,