Domestic violence is a menace that must be stamped out, by all means, necessary, but for now, since the Nigerian government hasn’t found a more profound way to help protect partners in relationships.
Then the onus falls individuals to find ways to protect themselves from hurt, assault and domestic violence. Its never a good sight, no matter what it might be you can always talk it out find ways through which you and your partner can best communicate your thoughts, feelings and pains only then can you both protect each other from such barbaric behaviour of hitting each other or inflicting pain on each other.
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Yes, it is a very popular thought that men are mostly the most violent when it comes to the matter of domestic violence but who is to say women are also not a major culprit of this devilish act and attitude. There are different types of domestic violence and it isn’t only restricted to assault, there is mental violence, manipulative violence and finally physical violence.
One of this is mostly suffered by men which and that is domestic mental stress, which a lot of times pushes men out of a relationship, or out of marriages as they seek solace from somewhere, where they can just have true peace of mind and unconditional love.
Like it is popularly said, if you’re involved with a person during both still dating or courtship you would see signs of a person who has the potential of being violent, never take such signs for granted, below are some of those things to look out for in such a person.
- Intent To Hurt other People:
When you’re in a relationship you want to fall in, be treated well and in return treat such persons well too. But never let this blind you, the affections being received at the moment might cloud your judgement but learn to see beyond what a person is showing at the surface. If you’re in a relationship with a partner who enjoys hurting other persons, who gain pleasure making other people feel bad and sad watch out. Even if at the moment such a person is all nice to you at some point the good feelings will fade and they would also give you a taste of their evil. And this most of the time builds into domestic violence, the willingness to hurt a partner make them feel joy, a sad type of joy while you wallow melancholically.
- Unforgiving Nature:
When involved with a person, watch out for their forgiving nature, their level of tolerance, self-control and discipline. Because when in a relationship with someone with a completely different background as yours, you both are bound to have quarrels and fights. It is here you would notice if the person has a forgiving nature. Though note this isn’t an indictment to say you want to intentionally test each other resolve. But when these fights do really happen it’s now you might learn the most about your partner’s greatest strength or weakness.
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- How They Treat Other People:
Watch out for how your partners treat other people most especially those below them, compassion is a big tell of a person’s character. Does your partner have a tendency of being cynical, wicked and treat others with contempt? Notice your partner how they treat persons below them if it is bad and rather treat those above them well very well in fact, then such a person is manipulative and dangerous, and at some point, you will feel their wrath.
- Type Of Home They were Raised: Kids raised in violent homes a lot of times tender to be violent, or pick up such bad characters. So my advice when going into a relationship try and ask questions about their backgrounds their home, why are your parents separate, what happened was there recurrent violence involved. This isn’t an indictment that all kids raised in such an environment turn out bad or violent too. But it helps you understand their background and know-how to come across, and just if such early childhood bad experience has scarred them.
- Previous Relationships:
This is another huge pointer, what happened in your partner’s previous relationship, why did they break-up, what happened, was domestic violence involved too. If yes then you need to know such a person might be carrying a bit of contempt or might find it hard trusting the opposite sex. So be smart at the way you both manage your relationship.
- Self-Control and Temper:
And last but not least, does your partner have quite a temper then be careful, do they lose complete control when they are angry. Do they tender to make bad decisions, go for revenge or want to destroy things when angry? Then such persons should be avoided, self-control is very important in a relationship, at some point you both will get on each other’s nerves, the question is how did she or he handle it was able to make his or her point without going berzerk and engage in any sort of violence.
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