A couple of weeks ago I published an article where I discussed five reasons why a lady might turn down a guy’s proposal, where I noted financial reasons, fear of commitment and cheating as some of the reasons why.
Barely a week after a lady trended online for committing suicide after she was left heartbroken by her lover of 12-years. This story prompted me into some deep thinking where I concluded, that the period of courtship and dating between a lady and a guy who intend to get married shouldn’t be less than two years and longer than three years.
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With an option of making it four years if there is a genuine reason like education, health and fertility. If there isn’t my advice please both parties should walk away.
As a guy, I advise any guy to date whoever they intend to make their wife for at least two years. Do not let her rush you and bamboozle you into going into a life committing, without you haven’t spent at least two seasons with her and getting to know her well first.
Yes, I know that spending two years with a person doesn’t necessarily mean you will get to know them completely. But at least it gives you a great foundation. During this period most especially after the first 6 months of courtship become intentional about studying your lady, that is, if you’ve started contemplating about committing to her long term.
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Be intentional about questions you ask her, does she see you guys together in five years time to fifteen years time and if she does what are you guys doing together.
Be intentional about each other’s roles in the relationship define it, start doing things and sharing experiences you would love to do if you guys were married.
Now, remember I didn’t say you should start doing this immediately you meet a girl you like. Let me explain what I mean, the date for at least 8 months, after dating for at least 8 months go on normal and phase out the honeymoon period for another 4 months making it a year.
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Then go into 6 months of courtship which is when everything done in the relationship becomes more conscious and intentional. Have a plan and create a structure for yourselves of how you want the relationship to be long term and then marriage.
Marriage is a very dicey situation no one has the perfect answer fix-it-all answer. It’s up to each couple to know and define what works best for them.
That’s why you as a person must be intentional about you going into it and with whoever you choose to be in it together with for the rest of your life.
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