Being a parent is a tough, but enjoyable lifetime experience. A mother will always be quick to throw in a creative, well-placed lie to either keep a child in check or avoid a question she would rather not answer – questions like where do babies come from or why is uncle’s tummy so big, could he be pregnant? Mothers are brilliant at deception. That’s why they can easily manage children.
Here are 10 lies parents, over the decades, have dished out to their children:
1. Cartoons sleep at night: Kids love cartoons. Sometimes, getting them to sleep at night is impossible when a favourite a cartoon programme is on. So, a mother tells them that cartoons characters also sleep.
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2. The chicken wants to be eaten: Lying to a child could be necessary if the little one is to feast on meat. So, a mother would say that chickens always want to be eaten as it gives them joy to be chosen as food. So here’s some chicken wings, go ahead make the it happy! That prevents kids from breaking down into tears if they really aren’t into eating animals! To make them eat vegetables and cabbages, a mother would say without batting an eyelid that, “Eat veggies my son, they make you very strong and super healthy!”
3. You have 10,000 words a month: You have only 10,000 words to use per month is the perfect ‘weapon’ to silence talkative kids who yap beyond their “monthly quota,’ especially if there are visitors to whom they might reveal the family secret with an embarrassing questions.
4. Kids are bought from supermarkets: Kids always ask where their week-old sibling has come from: God, wouldn’t it be nice to explain the whole biology to your children but alas the supermarket are good answers to shut them up.
5. Kissing will give you worms: This only works for a couple of years until the little brats grow into teenagers and discover that doing with the lips what the hands do has its pleasures.
6. If you are naughty, Father Christmas won’t give you a gift this year: This is the classic and best for good behaviour for all children.
7. Mum and dad play at night: Mum, who really had a hell of a time last night, would explain to the inquisitive child that, “Those funny noises you heard coming from our bedroom last night were just mummy and daddy playing.” And in a way she might not be lying. Really!
8. I was number one in class: All parents used to perform extremely well in school.
9. If a boy should touch you, you’ll get pregnant: Well mums wouldn’t want to go into the biology lesson.
10. When the the ice van plays music, the ice-cream is finished: Mummy cannot explain that no money for ice-cream today.
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