Dear Aunty Aurora, I have been seeing my father’s best friend behind my father’s back and we started having sex recently. He wants a relationship but I’m worried how my father will react to it all.
I am a 21-year-old recent graduate and I had a boyfriend until two months ago when he dumped me for another girl.
My father has been mates with this guy since they were young and he is often around our house, especially since he divorced last year. He’s 56, the same as my father. He has always been complimentary of my looks and attitude since i was a child and only realised he liked me, when he dropped me on the way to an internship interview. I had a good time talking to him and found myself laughing for the first time in a long time. He said we could do it again whenever I wanted. I texted him the next morning and we arranged to go out for the day. He has his own business, so he can please himself.
Last Saturday, he called me to go over to his house and when he kissed me, it was wonderful. We ended up in his bed and had sex. It was like nothing I have ever felt before. He is such an experienced lover. The next morning he said he had fallen for me and wanted a relationship. My mum noticed that I seemed happier and asked if I had a new boyfriend. When I told her, she was OK with it. She said I was an adult and it was up to me. I’d love to be with this guy but I know my dad would go ballistic. Yetunde, Amuwo Odofin.
Dear Yetunde, You are an adult and free to make your own choices but are also vulnerable, having been dumped so recently. Your father’s friend may have had your best interests at heart in wanting to cheer you up but he took advantage of the situation. Your dad would have good reason to be angry with his friend for making a move on you – and his mate knows that. I bet your mum isn’t that happy, either, but is wary of driving you into this man’s arms.
It is wrong for you to get dragged into a secret relationship. It will weigh you down. He is flattered that a young woman like you is keen on him but be wary of a relationship that may not be right for you long-term. Would he be happy hanging out with your 19-year-old friends? You could soon find yourself isolated.
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