Dear Aunty Aurora,
I’m a 32-year-old banker in Lagos. I am in dilemma. I am secretly dating my friend’s pretty curvy wife, 30.
My friend, a financial advisor is 31 years old. I knew him whilst at University of Lagos 10 years ago. He wedded in 2018. I knew his wife through him in 2016. His wife and I would exchange harmless compliments, until June 2018, when we began flirting heavily.
2 months later, she confessed she had feelings for me, I too did. Since then, we have been occasionally meeting secretly out of Lagos, where we both work and live. We have spent holidays in Abuja and even Abeokuta. Her husband doesn’t suspect anything, but I fear our affair could soon be known.
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We have had sexual intimacy several times and sex with her is always mind-blowing and I feel guilty that I am betraying my friend, who has been there for me every time I am in financial need.
Sometimes I feel like quitting the affair, but his wife, a communications officer at an international media firm, manages to convince me not to. Sometimes I feel like confessing to my friend, but I fear the consequences. Help, what should I do? Anthony, Festac – Lagos.
It is good to know you are realising what you should stand for. Your dilemma is not only unique to you. It is, actually, a dangerous web that has trapped many young men in the modern age. The question is: ‘Would you rather hurt the woman or your friend?’ Remember, your friend came first, and if you value the friendship, you, definitely, know who to prioritise.
Something else, do not end the affair abruptly. That could lead to suicidal ideation by either of the parties. Make the woman understand the situation and discuss with her how to break the relationship.Photo Credit: Getty