Dear Aunty Aurora,
I work as a senior executive member in a firm in Lagos and some months back I started an affair with a junior colleague and the going has been good. We have fun outside of work and we are both satisfied with what we get from the relationship. Recently though, I have noticed that he is beginning to feel proud and growing wings.
He reports directly to me but he has taken to the habit of coming in late to work, disregarding responsibilities assigned to him and generally being disrespectful to other senior executives because I have been shielding him from the consequences of his actions. I have even been served three different queries from my boss because of him but every time he would pacify me and we will continue with our lives. Now that there seems to be a little calm and he is behaving himself, I need advice on how to keep him that way; behaving himself and keeping me happy.
I am guessing that you are at least a few years older than this guy in question, so I will give my advice based on that. I normally don’t support office relationships because of the many disadvantages that come with it. Although I am not sure what your relationship with this guy is based on, I think the first mistake you made was dating a subordinate who answers directly to you. It is not unusual for young men in relationships with older women to eventually become cocky as they tend to think they are doing you a favour. On the other hand, there are several relationships where the woman is older than the man and they still make things work, but different strokes for different folks. Mixing work with pleasure is not always a wise choice as it is easy for either one or both parties involved to get carried away and loose focus about the main thing which is the job that needs to be done. Also, you jeopardise your position at work if he keeps neglecting his duties and you keep covering for him because you are dating him. What I think you should do is decide which is more important to you because there is every possibility he would get into trouble at work again and expect you to save him. When you don’t, he will might rat you out and get you in trouble out of annoyance. So before that happens, I think opting out would be a smart move.
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Dear Aunty Aurora,