Dear Aunty Aurora,
I am one of your silent followers here, but I would like a piece of advice not for myself but for a friend of mine who is presently going out of her mind in her relationship. My friend, Dianne has been dating this guy for some years now and they even went to the same secondary school when they were younger. The guy, Kevin was previously in a relationship and he has two kids with the lady but they parted ways and the girl’s parent started taking care of the children when she left the country.
My friend met Kevin after the whole saga and I guess because of a childhood crush, it didn’t take long for them to get together and start dating. Not long after Kevin lost his job and Dianne had to start taking care of his financial needs. It was during this period my friend got pregnant. She was really happy and told Kevin but he convinced her that they couldn’t raise a child now because he had no job, so they aborted the baby. My friend was really sad and for a while I was really angry that she didn’t even tell anybody else before deciding. Months passed and still no job in sight for Kevin but he keeps spending my friend’s money. Dianne got pregnant again. It wasn’t until I confronted her about her health that she confessed that she had another abortion, this time around a set of twins.
The Dianne I know would never be so unfeeling but Kevin’s influence started changing her a while back. Just last night, Dianne came to my house in tears pulling some of her bags behind her. When she calmed down enough to explain what the matter was, it turned out that Kevin was secretly dating one of our friends and it was both their plan to dupe Dianne and take everything from her. We never knew this but Dianne found out when she went to the hospital for her test results and saw the both them coming out of the doctor’s office holding hands. Right now, I fear for my friend and her sanity. She has been through a lot prior to now and I don’t know what she might do to herself. Please help.
Tricia, Abuja.
Dear Tricia,
Most of us ladies like to believe that nothing could ever go wrong with our relationships. Even when justifiable evidence presents itself that something is wrong somewhere, we make up excuses to shield ourselves from the truth and postpone an inevitable outcome. I feel really sorry for your friend and what she has been through. I am more worried because of her present condition and her unborn child. Being pregnant and handling such emotionally challenging circumstances, she needs all the reassurance, support and love you can give right now.
I would advice she sees a therapist for proper evaluation and counselling. There is only so much you can do for her as a friend because she needs to deal with this issue on her own on so many levels. Also help her see the need to pull herself together because of the baby. Dianne needs to understand that her health and the baby come first now and its possible to still be happy despite what has happened. I don’t subscribe to getting an abortion because I believe children are gifts and asides that there are other health implications especially since she has gone through the process before. I am glad she has you to count on and I think she will be needing you more in the nearest future. Try to encourage her to participate in activities that would distract her from the matter at hand as well. I wish you both all the best.
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