Dear Aunty Aurora,
I am a 25-year-old undergraduate and I have been sharing living quarters with my boyfriend for barely two weeks now and I can’t stand him already. I am not trying to boast or make myself appear better but I pride myself on my personal hygiene. I hate all form of dirt and untidiness. A little stain can make me feel uncomfortable as long as it is left unattended to and I just basically want everything in order.
Call me obsessive but I don’t think I am. I just think being neat and presentable should be part of every aspect of our lives. My boyfriend on the other hand has become the bane of my existence. Meeting him in person, you are presented with a cool, cute and good looking guy but I never knew he was practically living like a pig till we moved in together. At first I thought it was because he had been busy prior to the move but even after putting the apartment back in order, the whole place is messed up again. From picking up hastily discarded underwear from the floor to cleaning up after him when he is through with the toilet, I just feel like I am nursing a 2-year-old most times. Its being an uncomfortable two weeks for me and I have been wondering if I am overreacting or there is course for concern. We plan to get married immediately I am through with school but now I am having second thoughts. Please how do I handle this, I really love him but his dirty habits are a total turn-off.
Cynthia, Dopemu.
Dear Cynthia,
You will be shocked at how many couples presently experience the same thing as you. We all have our quirks and being a couple coming from two different backgrounds, its not always possible to end up with someone who has the same policies on hygiene as you do. I don’t know how long you both have been dating but now that you are under the same roof, you need to bring you bargaining skills to the front. You are both adults and you shouldn’t have to always be cleaning up after him. What will happen when you eventually start having kids? Then it means you have several babies to take care of.
You don’t need to panic though. Sit your partner down and have a serious chat with him about keeping the apartment clean. You can offer to help out by creating compartments around the house where things should go, e.g a small laundry basket in the bedroom for keeping track of all those boxers and socks that end up on the floor. Remember not to take on accusatory tone or scold him like a child because that will only make him feel resentful and probably ignore your need all together. The best way to get untidy people to clean up their own mess is usually to take on the stance of a team player. Â When you start noticing him making efforts to keep things clean, a little encouragement will also go a long way. All the best.
Aunty Aurora.
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