Dear Aunty Aurora,
Kindly help me out with this issue my boyfriend and I have been dragging for some time now. We started dating almost a year ago and since then we have been happy except for one issue that we have failed to agree on. Some months into our relationship, I realised that he wasn’t making any moves to get intimate with me. 
I even thought it was because he was shy and I decided to help out only for him to turn me down. Since then he would give one reason or another for not wanting to have sex. I am beginning to think there may be more to this matter than I know. What if he is getting it from somewhere else or he is incapable? Asides the fact that I don’t think its normal for a lady to be the one chasing her man in this type of situation, I don’t know what else to think as a possible reason for him to turn me down every time. Please what do I do?
Felicia, Enugu.
Dear Felicia,
Issues relating to sexuality and sexual health are very delicate to handle especially if it has to do with men. This is because it directly relates to their ego; no man wants to be told he can’t satisfy his woman. There are several possible reasons he might be turning you down first of which could be moral or religious. If he thinks sex before marriage is wrong because of his believes, you need to hear this from him first.
Others could be medical or even just plain lack of attraction to you in that way. Cooking up a grand scheme of seduction might get him to finally get intimate with you but the fact is that if he doesn’t do it willingly, you always keep wondering. The only course of action is to explain how his actions make you feel. If he really cares about you, the least he could do is tell you the reasons behind not wanting to get intimate. The next course of action will depend on whatever response you get from him.Then you can decide if you can continue building your relationship without sex or you want to move on. Â Aunty Aurora.
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