Dear Aunty Aurora,
Please help a sister. In the course of my almost two year old relationship, I have gone from feeling like the luckiest girl in the world to feeling like I am being treated like trash or someone’s cast-offs. I’m 28 years old and here in Nigeria that’s like a huge deal if you’re not married. My boyfriend hardly talks to me about anything and we have been living like two roommates with benefits. It has become so boring and the fighting and quarrelling over the most trivial things has become a norm.
Asides all this drama with him, his sister hates me and neither does he even want me to be close to his family. Basically, I think he doesn’t love me anymore. I know I love him though and I have tried working things out with him even though he foils all my attempts. So I started opening up to other guys and I’ve since met another guy I have gotten very friendly with. We’ve been seeing each other and it has been amazing. He is everything I want in a man; he’s sweet,he makes me happy, he talks to me, he listens to me and I’m beginning to fall for him. Now I’m in a dilemma because I don’t know what to do. All I want is to be happy. Am I doing something so wrong by double dating just to find out where my heart should go?
The best kind of love is the one that comes naturally and one of the most important lessons we need to learn in relationships is to learn to differentiate when its time to leave something that has outlived its usefulness or change tactics. Being 28 years old and unmarried is not an issue but it becomes one when it affects your decision making and ability make sound choices.
From what you have said, you are obviously not happy with your two year old relationship and I think that is due largely to the fact that the both of you have become over-familiar with each other. Also not being able to form some sort of connection with his family might be to your disadvantage in the long run since you are already having issues with them even before having any sort of permanent commitment with this guy. I always avoid judging people so the most I can say concerning your double dating is you should do what will make you happy and not hurt innocent people. I sincerely don’t think you still love the first guy anymore and maybe moving on will be a good choice.I wish you all the best.
Photo Credit: Getty
Dear Aunty Aurora,