Aunty Aurora, I Can’t Choose Between My Wonderful Girlfriend And Amazing Love-making With My New Facebook Lover

Dear Aunty Aurora, It’s honestly my own fault but my head is in a mess. I am cheating on my girlfriend by having awesome sex with a girl I met through Facebook. I am 32 and my girlfriend is 28. We’ve been together for four years. She is lovely and so supportive but she can be very clingy.She wants to see me every night but gives me one night “off” a week. Our relationship feels quite one-sided to me, so when I got a Facebook request from a friend of a friend a couple of months ago I accepted and we started chatting. We then met up in person but I wasn’t honest with her. I didn’t let on about my girlfriend. This new girl is smart and funny. I fancy her more than my girlfriend. She’s 26. We had a few good evenings together then we started having sex. That part was awesome, though I knew what I was doing was wrong. I thought it was going to fizzle out sooner rather than later but I was wrong about that too. We had some great times before it kind of went downhill. I was going away for a week but I hadn’t told her I was going with my girlfriend. She worked it out for herself but assumed my girlfriend was an ex. She asked to know what my “ex” still meant to me. I had to own up and tell her the truth. She was furious and stormed off. I felt so guilty that night. The next day, she texted me wanting more answers. We talked and agreed that we needed time to think. I met up with her on my return. I was going to tell her that we had to end it . . . but when I saw her, all the feelings I have for her came back. Everything feels right when I am with each of them but I know I can’t have my cake and eat it too. I feel as though I’m in love with both women but I know that I have to choose.Thanks Adebowale, Lekki, Lagos.Dear Adebowale: Too right you do. Even being in a good relationship won’t stop you fancying other people but acting on it is high-risk. I can’t make the choice for you – but it would be best to stop seeing the new girl for now, as you have no idea whether that relationship would stay the course. Tell her you need to get your head straight. Your girlfriend sounds insecure but you should be able to go out without her permission – not to cheat but free to have other friends and interests separate from her. If you can’t make it work you have to end it. The longer you leave it, the more hurt she will be and she will hate that she has been deceived. Then you will be free to see if you and the new girl share more than “awesome sex” long-term.Photo Credit: Getty

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