Dear Aunty Aurora, I’ve been married for three years and have two small children. My wife is 32 and a wonderful partner and mother.
My huge problem is that I’ve fallen in love with another woman, who’s the same age as I am and single.
We meet in hotel rooms and anywhere else we are able to. I can honestly say I’m in love with them both and my problem is that I can’t give up either.
This is stopping me from sleeping at night and I’m just about balancing things.
I can’t believe this is happening to me and I’m at my wits’ end. What can I do? Andrew, Lagos.
Dear Andrew, Well, you can give up this affair but you just don’t want to. You’re now discovering that affairs actually become very stressful because of the logistics, the lying and the guilt. You can’t have your cake and eat it.
All I can remind you of is that you have an awful lot to lose if your wife finds out about this affair, which she probably will if it carries on. You’ll get sloppy, make mistakes and she’ll become suspicious.
Read Also: Aunty Aurora, I Enjoy Casual Sex With Guys, I’m Petrified Of Committing To One Person
Affairs are thrilling at first but, often when they become legit that excitement wanes and you might find the only thing holding you together was sex. You’ll then end up bitterly regretting leaving your marriage.
I think it would help to really imagine what it would be like to lose your wonderful wife and only see your kids at weekends.
Only you can decide what to do from here – this is a mess of your own making – but don’t keep doing it behind your wife’s back. If you won’t give up the other woman, then come clean.
These small gestures go a long way to rebuilding intimacy and desire so the prospect of sex is far less awkward.
Photo Credit: Getty