Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Aunty Aurora: He Cheats And So Do I, Why Can’t We Get Married?

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Dear Aunty Aurora,
I sincerely appreciate what you do here and I hope you will be able to help with a little problem of my own. The thing is I will be getting married come 3rd of June this year but there has been so much drama trailing my relationship and now it has gotten to an all time peak. You see, my fiancé and I might not be the most faithful people and our relationship has never been conventional. Right from the beginning I knew he wasn’t a one woman’s man and he never hid it from me. I am not a saint either, I enjoy the occasional fling but it never goes beyond hanging out with any man who catches my fancy and maybe some harmless smooching.The whole arrangement has worked for us because neither of us complains about the other person’s behaviour and we decided to get married based on the fact that we understand each other so well. That was all till we started making arrangements for the wedding about two months back and we had to involve some of our friends in the planning. Long story short, the worst happen and I ended up in bed with one of my fiancé’s friend and I was on the verge of telling my husband-to-be about it when my Chief-brides-maid told me in confidence that she has been with my man too. I won’t claim ignorance either because I did suspect that my fiancé has a soft-spot for her and he has been trying to hide it. He doesn’t even look at me the way he looks at her and I’m beginning to think he might have finally found someone he cares about. My friend isn’t the type to betray anyone’s trust either and even though she tries to convince me that she has gotten over him, I still believe otherwise. Now the big one is the fact that I am not so interested in getting married to my man anymore but the wedding day is so close I don’t know how to get out of this mess. How do I solve his with a little bit of my dignity intact?
Halima, Abuja.

Dear Halima,
I find your open and truthful nature quite refreshing and I think that its these same qualities that will get you out of this current mess. Though I don’t think having a relationship where anything goes is a smart choice, I think you have judged yourself well and I won’t comment on your past. So lets talk about the present, you messed up, fine, but I’m glad you are not saying anything about getting together with the guy you cheated with because I’m almost certain it won’t work out with him either. I believe what you need is a clean slate and to break things off with your fiancé.
You obviously are not in love with him anymore than he is with you and from what I have read here you two have stuck together because you both know there are not many other partners out there who can take your excesses. I also think the recent issue with you friend is actually a miracle in disguise. The way you and your man were going, your marriage would be a disaster waiting to happen and one of you, most likely you, would have ended up really hurt. Now to what you need to do; be truthful. Sit your ‘husband-to-be’ down and tell him what he needs to know then call-off that wedding. Your friend might be what he needs to get his head straight and she might not, but right now, they deserve each other for betraying you (though you betrayed your man as well). Whether their relationship will work out or not is none of your business but save yourself future pains by getting out now. You obviously want out, then do it and focus on being a better person too.
Photo Credit: Getty


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