Dear Aunty Aurora,
My name is Nancy and I would appreciate if you can give a response to my question as soon as possible. Immediately after my secondary school education, I started dating this guy I met at a friend’s party. We were both trying to get admission into the university at the same time but he got admitted before me. Due to the fact that his family wasn’t financially buoyant at the time, I decided to give him my own money for his fees. Not long after I went for a diploma course and all the while I was still sponsoring his own education. When he ended his degree program, he called me and said he was sorry he couldn’t continue with the relationship because I wasn’t on the same level with him anymore.
I almost ran mad and was later hospitalised for almost a month because of the trauma I suffered. Months later I got an opportunity to travel out of the country for a course and I was away for a while. It was during this period my ex started calling again. He said he was sorry and he really wanted to make it up to me. I shunned him after that and stopped picking his call till I came back to Nigeria. Some days after getting back his younger sister whom I had kept contact with came to visit with his mum, I was surprised but welcomed them. They later went on to say they came to apologise on behalf of my ex and that I should forgive him. They said a lot of other things I can’t recall at the moment but the long and short of it is that I had to walk them out of my apartment. Though I later felt bad, but did I overreact or I did the right thing?.Nancy, Lagos.
Its always sad to see this acts of ingratitude in relationship. Not only women have stories like yours to tell, men also suffer the same thing from their partners as well. I believe when things like this happen, we learn to trust a little less and it tends to affect our future relationships more than we even realise. To be frank with you, I don’t see any scenario where getting back together with him favours you. Only bigger hurts await you at the end of that tunnel.
Your ex has proven himself to be a user and I think the only reason his family members are surfacing is because they can see that you are doing well. A popular quote I really like says,’don’t go back to what broke you’ , and that is my advice to you as well. The fact that you loved him once might make you less critical of his actions but at this point you need to think with your head and not your heart. As per his sister and mum’s visit, you can call to apologise for being rude, but make them understand that you are not interested in the relationship anymore. Aunty Aurora.
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Dear Aunty Aurora,