You have heard it said over and over again…He who finds a wife, finds a good thing. Honestly, the idea of spending “forever” with someone is almost impossible to wrap our heads around in this generation. In the 1950s through 80s, what constituted “wife material” was pretty straight-forward compared to how it is now.
‘Perfect’ wives were women who stayed home to take care of the kids, keep the house in order, and have dinner ready promptly at 7PM when her husband walked through the door. But to be honest, as depressing as that might be to the ‘perfect’ old wives, times have changed and the ladies too have changed, the same way Naija has drastically changed, so you must accept the parameters have really changed too.
You’ve been seeing this girl for a few months now. Things are progressing nicely. You’ve both admitted you love each other, and you’re both committed to the relationship. Now, your mission is to make sure she’s ‘wife material‘. The big question is…how do you do that? Remember that this is Naija, all the babes want to get married and all the married ones seem to be separating, so what’s the real score. Your mum – has convinced your dad- thinks she is the perfect wife for you.
Her parents are beginning to ask about your parents and if there’s any update, all your friends too seem to have been hitched (though always fighting or cheating on their ‘wifey’), all your relatives are asking you for wedding date with ‘aunty’. The pressure is everywhere you look for any naija guy regarding wedding, so this is where we must code and decode ways to know she’s wife material or not. Not to worry my sharp guy, this is where we must code and decode relationship issues. I’m going to help you figure out the real wife material from the ones wearing Oshodi-oke push-up bra or pretending to be something they’re not.
1. She Loves you and you love her in equal measure. The truth is, the perfect ‘wife material’ is the one who loves you and who you equally love. It’s just down to love and attraction and I don’t mean any kind of shawarma or romantic ideal, but like, proper love, where you love them so much that even when you’re angry you still make sure they are not hurt or harmed. Any person who loves you that much in equal measure, and doesn’t mind being with you in your 70s is definitely marriage material.
2. She challenges you to be better: Men are biologically competitive beings and often need someone who will both challenge and complete them. Most naija men don’t want a fan or sycophant, nor do they want an adversary. Your ideal woman will have an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and exploit them not to injure you, but to make you better. Your ‘wifey’ has to challenge you to be your best self. Simples!
3. She accepts you without reservation: Your wifey must have total acceptance for who you are both the good and bad.
4. She must make you laugh: Naija is a tough place for everyone, from light issues to problems with the economy, Buhari to SARS, the list goes on and on, so it will be good to share life with someone that has a sense of humour. Laughing and loving together is what makes a long-lasting relationship.
5. She can cook: I know Chimananda and her feminist clique will have an issue with this, but my beloved, I swear, this is true. Wife material is a woman who can cook and cook well, or is able, willing and committed to learn to cook well. Not because you want her in the kitchen but because you might not be able to cook and that might spell real issues in the marriage, if both of you can cook..however, this will not be an issue, as the truth is that this isn’t about giving into gender stereotypes, rather cooking and eating together can be cool and sexy.
6. She has her own life: The truth is that a woman with her own life is probably the coolest one to marry. And by ‘her own life’ I mean: her own career, her own set of friends, her own independent streak, her own dreams, and her own hopes, aspirations and pursuits.
7. She doesn’t publicly embarrass you. Of, course nobody is perfect but your own ‘perfect’ wife doesn’t show you up in public, in general and particularly in front of your friends and family. Angry? Okay. Disagree? Sure. Argue? Maybe. But if she’s wife material she’ll keep anything demeaning or embarrassing private.
8. She’s considerate: ‘Wife material’ indicators can range from helping you watch your wallet or something sweet like ensuring that you have your fish even at traditionally meat-only family gatherings or like allowing you to take your nap (peacefully) when you think that you are Hulk Hogan. It’s so simple, but speaks to a level of consideration you don’t always get in some people who might feel a little too entitled to your chivalry.
Photo Credit: Getty
