A number of Nigerian men have reached out to me privately asking me to address the issue of infidelity in women. It is breaking them to think of their woman giving herself to another.
Unfaithfulness in women has become rampant, let us address this. Women it is time to check yourselves and get your act together.
Many women stumble and fall because they are actually convinced they can’t. This overconfidence and mentality of thinking only men cheat has led many women to bring down their guard, they invite a man not hers into their space and get too comfortable and soon they fall. No matter how strong you think you are, have boundaries.
2. Promiscuous past
A lot of women had sex with multiple men before meeting their man/husband, some because of this devalued sex. Sex became that itch that when they want they get someone to scratch. A woman who doesn’t unlearn her past and restores her idea of sex before marriage will most likely end up cheating and see no big deal about it. Lady, be transformed in your mind and give sex the honor it deserves.
More women are drinking than ever before, some women have been caught up in the fun of clubbing, partying and binge drinking. They can’t handle the alcohol and so though married or taken, they end up waking up in bed with another man. Lady, the best kind of fun is sober fun. One day you will outgrow this drinking thing, question is when you do, will your marriage still be in tact? Will you have lost a good man for drunk sex that you can’t even remember?
4. Professional success
Sadly, some women think that to succeed in life they have to sleep around with the boss or a man in power; to them, the end justifies the means. Once her husband finds out it shatters him. He looks at her differently, he wants nothing to do with her success. Lady, success is only sweet when you have earned it honorably. There are so many ways you can make it in life with your character intact. Be a role model to your children on how to rise to your highest, decently.
5. Misleading friends
Many women have misleading female friends who are quick to give wrong advice that destroys marriages. Those misleading are either bitter and single or are destroying their own marriages and speak from a place of pain or the desire to make you unfaithful so that they feel OK that you are cheating just like them. These misleading female friends will tell you “You have needs”, “Live a little”, “Have fun”, “Enjoy a better penis”, they will even buy you condoms but when your marriage fails, they will mock you or leave. Lady, surround your marriage with the right friends.
When a woman was sexually abused in the past or she actually cheated in the past, she can foolishly numb the pain by having more casual sex out of guilt or feelings of worthless. This is foolish because by doing this she never heals. Lady, don’t lose and hurt yourself on account of your past. Take back power.
Some women feel neglected by their husbands, with neglect comes emotional detachment, but instead of fixing the issue and build on communication with their husbands, they look for a connection outside and they cheat. This further destroys their marriage. Lady, what is missing in your marriage will not be found outside. Affairs don’t last. You can’t be running to the penis of another man each time there are problems in your marriage. It could be that you and your husband are not connecting because you are pushing him away.
Revenge is common in some bitter women. These women either with proof of their man cheating or the false suspicion of him cheating they go out to revenge with another man or men. Lady, just because your man lowers his values doesn’t mean you do the same. Dignity is personal. Don’t stoop low for him.
9. Upgrade from self-pleasure
The women who are used to watching adult films and self-pleasure might want to advance their sexual experience even when they have a husband. The dangerous thing about porn is that it makes one crave different sexual experiences and because one man can’t give it all, the woman led by lust can hunt for a new man or men to satisfy her hunger. Lady, tame your lust and focus on intimacy with your husband. Intimacy is more than just orgasms.
Long distance relationships or marriages can make a sexual woman frustrated. If she lacks self-control, she can easily look for a nearby man to satisfy her. The thing about unfaithfulness even when you hide it is that it begins to corrupt the connection you have with your partner, it gives birth to lies, secrets and emotional distance. It is not worth it. Be patient and work on bridging the gap and work on ending the physical distance soon.
11. The tempting ex
An ex can easily become a threat due to that past connection. A number of women keep in touch with their ex and some hide this from their partner. Slowly, they get comfortable with the ex, they miss the good old days, have sex then she wonders why did she go back to the mess she was saved from? Lady, keep off your ex.
12. Online flirting gone overboard
Lots of women start their cheating emotionally, especially on social media. She starts spending lots of time online chatting up men. Her man tells her she is obsessed with her phone but she continues. Soon, the chats become sexual and she meets up with the online connection/s. Sex occurs once or multiple times as her marriage/relationship sinks. Lady, don’t be sucked into chats that will waste you, the attention might be exciting but it leads to nothingness.
13. She married for the wrong reasons
If she was forced to marry the man either because she got pregnant for him, her parents coercion or just because he asked and she said yes but she doesn’t feel him, she might get tired of pretending, then she emotionally checks out and looks for a new feeling with another man. Lady, this is unfair to your husband. Either you are a hundred percent in or you are a hundred percent out. If you will stay, work on cultivating love for the one you committed to, it is possible.
14. She’s got what she wanted
If a woman committed to a man for his money, fame, or to get him to provide for her as a single mother, as soon as she gets what she wanted she will do things that disrespect him such as cheating. Lady, selfishness will get you nowhere and you will not be happy with anything you get. Stop using men.
15. Sexual curiosity
Sometimes a woman ends up cheating with another woman especially if this was her lifestyle before she got married. Many ladies explored this in high school and colleges and so even though they want to be married to a man, they want to explore their sexual curiosity with a woman. Lady, in marriage, your body belongs to him and his to you. Marriage is not the place for curiosity that hurts the one you claim to love.
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