Relationships are made up of many pillars among them finances. Relationship’s ups and downs come from misapprehensions in these pillars and factors.
Like other factors, money issues can cause bad misunderstandings between you and your partner, worst, could even lead to a break up.
As a Naija woman, the society has dictated for ages that your man supports you financially. Men have been known as ‘hunters and gatherers’ who go out and hustle for food and bring it home for you to prepare. That has since changed. You can now go out and equally hustle and put food on the table.
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That brings up the question whether or not you can give money to your significant other. While relationships are about sharing and caring, finances are a bit different and there are several reasons according to relationship experts.
While you might chip in and help your man when he has emergencies, it is advisable not to fall into that habit because:
He may be dependent: One thing about him knowing he can access your money anytime he wants gives him a feeling of financial security. He might still work hard alright but will always know that whenever he needs that financial boost, he can always stop by your account and spend. This kind of dependency creeps in and with time, you realize that he cannot make solid investment decisions without needing your support.
You are not married: There is a huge difference between giving money to your husband and giving it to your boyfriend. For your husband, you two have vowed to go through life as one and sharing money between you may not be out of place. For your boyfriend, however, you only give money when you have to and he’s to give it back.
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It bruises his ego: Like said earlier, men have been known to be breadwinners and sole providers for their families. While you find it cute to keep giving money to your boyfriend, he could be getting hurt on the other hand. Most men want to earn and spend more than their women and when you keep throwing money his way, he may take it as if you’re trying to outdo him. It breaks his ego when you give money as it comes across like you’re trying to show off your huge earnings.
You might look desperate: Most women who dish out their earning to their boyfriends often come out as desperate. This is seen as an attempt to keep a man where love has failed. While you might treat him once in a while, completely providing for your boyfriend makes it look like you are so desperate to keep him.
It might be the reason for your breakup: Many relationships break due to different misunderstandings. Finances, shared finances especially, are a source of arguments and you giving money to your boyfriend isn’t any different. If anything, things might get tough faster in this case as you might feel like he owes you explanations for what he does with the money you give to him. You will end up feeling shortchanged if he spends it in ways you don’t support and you two might end up arguing constantly about it.Photo Credit: Getty