Saturday, January 28, 2023

Strictly Ladies: As #EndSARS Is About Freedom, Naija Guys Should Embrace Dating Divorcees Not Stigmatise Them

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Police Brutality just like divorce is something that no one should have to experience. The stress of court cases, custody wrangles, not to mention the fact that your happily ever after has come to an end, can take a toll on anybody.

Divorcees can be emotionally fragile and need to be treated with uttermost care, if you plan on dating one. With proper understanding, you’ll be able to handle things better as you help them recover from a broken marriage.

Here are some essential tips to remember when dating a divorcee.

1. Timing: You might find yourself falling for someone who is just going through a divorce or finalizing one. This time is very crucial and needs to be handled gently. You may need to keep your feelings discreet until it’s the right time. If the divorce is fresh and ongoing, chances are that they will resist getting involved with you just yet. There is also the possibility that they may still be hung up on their ex. Find the appropriate time to tell him or her that you are interested in them without rushing it.
Read Also: Strictly Ladies: 12 Different Types of Penises You’ll Definitely Encounter In Nigeria And How To Master The D2. Expectations: Before you get romantically involved with each other, it is important to discuss what you both expect from the relationship. The truth is, some divorcees may not be looking for anything long term or even another marriage. Find out whether you have the same goals in mind to prevent any more heartbreak – especially on your part. You should also be direct and sincere with your intentions. Avoid leading a divorcee on when you know you are not sure you want something longterm. Ensure that you are both on the same page before progressing.

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3. What is their marriage status? There is a difference between separation and divorce. When someone is separated, they might not live with their spouse anymore but they are legally married. In the case of a finalized divorce, the law will recognize that the marriage is officially terminated. It is essential to find this out because your sense of security in a relationship is just as important. However, if you have no serious concerns about separation versus divorce, you should both be able to reach a middle ground in your relationship.

4. Baggage: We can’t ever truly know how divorce affects us until we have a personal experience with it. The process can leave one with a broken heart, deep trust issues and serious insecurities. Give your partner time to learn from the mistakes of their previous marriage. On your part, avoid digging into the details of what happened. Instead allow them to open up to you with time. Also, don’t get offended when they talk about their ex from time to time. Take things slow and be very patient when dealing with a divorcee.

5. Acceptance: We all want to feel loved and accepted by someone we are planning on dating. When it comes to dealing with a divorcee, the relationship dynamic can be a bit complicated. The fact they had a whole life before you brings in a new dynamic of kids, ex-wives/husbands, old friends as well as families. Keep in mind that if you are interested in a divorcee, they had a certain way of living that they were accustomed to. This means that they might be a little rigid when it comes to change and opening up to it. Their friends and family might also take time to accept you as well.

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Find a way to balance your differences in order to have a good relationship. Find out whether they are willing to compromise for you as well. It is important that you take the first step to show them that you accept them and their kids in order to have a good foundation.

Photo Credit: Getty

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