As Nigerians, we face stress continually on a daily basis. The blasting speakers of the closest religious building is a huge assurance that almost all of us wake up with stress. Transport to work is a huge stress. We all try to manage our temper when our “yet-to-bath” conductor, press his body close to you as he tries to gain a balance before shouting at you to give him the money, we put up with the pro’s and cons of office politics on a daily basis as the lanky looking HR guy expects you to kiss his feet before walking into you office.
The journey home after work brings another huge dosage of stress to us as we battle: traffic jam, body-odor from the “not-so-neat” section of passengers in the bus, the alarming and unending voice of the unregistered drug-seller compelling you to buy his products, and a whole lot more.
These issues are numerous and annoying enough to warrant an outburst once in a while but unfortunately, the victim of this outburst is not usually the huge and annoying conductor. I am 100% sure that it is not your HR, and we all find it difficult to muster enough courage to tell the smelly crew to “lookup” the meaning of body spray.
The usually victim of our daily stress routine is your lover. Yes. Your girl. Ignoring the fact that she also had a very stressful day like you, we tend to lash out easily when we find something out-of-order or not well-kept at home.
This “introjective” attitude is very toxic for any relationship. Nigerian ladies have a strong record of being the source of any misunderstanding in the relationship. but as always, they will find a way to turn their fault to your fault before starting their lengthy nagging streak. When they see signs that you seem to be a nagging husband, my brother, she will leave you before daybreak. A nagging couple can never stand united. It is impossible.
The annoying nature of your daily routine has a lot of tendencies to make you a very bitter person. It can make you abusive, unreliable, cunning, uncaring etc. You need to build a resistance to these problems that will bar them from reaching the inner you. You need to preserve the goodness in your heart.
If for example you start shouting back at the conductor when he raise his voice at you every morning, slowly but surely, you will add a very abusive attitude to your character list. If you worship the HR guy in his presence and trash-talk him in his absence, slowly but surely, you will become a professional back-bitter. If you worsen it all by insulting the smelly crew when you see them, you will become everyone’s nightmare (an “insultive”, uncaring and embittered person that comments on everything he sees).
You need to guide your personality because it is your true personality that eventually stand tall when you are out of the stress zone and a unique personality will always be a key ingredient for a happy relationship.
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