Most people believe in the myth of an ideal mother and father who raise happy, problem-free children. But in reality, there is no such thing as an ideal parent, perfect parent or a perfect child. Attitude is common among school-age children and takes up a significant portion of a parent’s time. School-age children, on a average, posses traits that their parents find challenging of which i believe is a part of the growing up process. Really, its not about trying to be a perfect parent to your children, but actually being there for them when they need you the most even when they don’t.
Mistakes Are Normal
As a parent, it’s best you recognise that it is normal to feel worried, confused, angry, guilty, overwhelmed and inadequate because of your child’s behavior. That is part of being a parent. It is pointless and self-defeating to try to be perfect or to raise perfect children. Think back to how you behaved, or misbehaved as a child, and how your parents dealt with your behaviour, obviously you felt bad about their disciplinary techniques. They were not perfect, neither was anyone else.Do not try to overcompensate for their shortcomings by trying to be perfect yourself and getting caught up in statements like “I’m not going to make the same mistakes my parents made.” All parents and all children make mistakes in their attempts to communicate and deal with one another and in trying to solve problems. Parents need to trust themselves and their instincts. Mothers and fathers tend to have good intuition and knowledge of their own children. They often know more than they think they do, and should not be afraid of making mistakes. Children are resilient and forgiving and usually learn and grow through their mistakes. Parents tend to be just as resilient and forgiving.
Parents who “live for their children” are putting themselves in a very vulnerable position, setting themselves up for possible disappointment, frustration and resentment. They are also being unfair to their family. Parents should not expect to receive all their personal fulfillment from their children. As a parent, you need to develop your own philosophy – one with which you feel comfortable – within a flexible and adaptable framework. Take into account your own expectations, parenting style, and temperament, and how they fit with each of your children and your spouse, and their own unique preferences and temperaments. Your approach and philosophy will vary from one to the other, mainly because of their own particular attributes.And always remember that professional help is available if problems ever become too intense, exceed your own coping capabilities, or cause secondary difficulties such as a decline in school performance, increased family stress or serious emotional problems. You should take comfort in the fact that most cases, children do turn out well. But along the way, keep your sense of humor, trust your instincts and seek help and advice early rather than late. While parenting is a great challenge, it can also be one of the most rewarding and enjoyable experiences of your life.Pnoto Credit: Getty