By now most of us know love is not the only thing that keeps two people together. As much as we fancy the romance and dreamy qualities of our childhood bed time stories, nobody tells us that cinderella has other duties to fulfil on her journey to her happily ever after, or that there are days prince charming wouldn’t be so charming either but rather an insensitive being who just wants things done his way. We never learn the whole dynamics of how a relationship works till we find ourselves in one and by that time we just play it by ear.
For many of us who grew up in some parts of Africa, Nigeria in particular, we are groomed from childhood as young girls to pay attention to the home-making. I have lost count of the number of times my own mother would tell me in yoruba ” if you don’t learn how to cook now, I hope your husband’s people won’t blame me “. Don’t get me wrong, my mum is one of the best you can ever come across because she managed to find a balance where many have failed. My argument though is that most of us are brought up with the same belief that cooking good food is what keeps a man happy and we carry that same sentiment into a generation light years different from the one our parents grew up in. Many of us are coming to realise that the modern day man has needs that not even a plate of seedless pounded yam and Egusi soup can handle and majority are either left clueless wondering what their man wants while others struggle to keep up. Some time ago, a little debate ensued online after one of our homegrown athletes was seen online innocently eating spaghetti and meatballs prepared by his white partner. Many Nigerian women who were either trying to give free advice or mock the foreign lady in question jumped on board to give their two kobo. In response she says, there are other ways to please a man. Where she leaves-off is where I am picking up from today. I believe it is high time we knew that times have changed and we need to change with it where necessary. It might shock some of us to know that there are men out there willing to forgo the satisfaction of their belly for a woman who can hold her own. The world gets more competitive by the day and after a hard days work, some men’s idea of heaven is a warm caring woman waiting with open arms at home to say welcome. The importance of having a good character is gradually stepping up to the pedestal we have placed good food on. Or of what use is a tasty meal if your home is constantly ablaze with accusations, nagging, arguments and whole set of non-ingestibles. The witty are smarty pants are also getting their ranking on the world’s wife material criteria list. Ever heard the saying ‘romance me mentally’, thats where they got it. Sexual satisfaction is yet another reason why your plate of perfectly cooked and seasoned jollof might not hold much sway with some men.
As fickle as many of us might tag physical satisfaction in the bed, it does matter a lot to some category of people and they won’t change their minds either. Thank you. Last but not the least is the trophy factor. The present generation practically lives on the social media. Every single thing gets an ash tag, and the craze for followership is never ending. In comes the guy with the hot babe and he is the new trend as he dishes goals.
Am I saying that objectifying women beats being an exalted cook, definitely not, my argument though is that ignorance is never an excuse. Not knowing how things work doesn’t excuse you from being burnt when things get hot, but educating ourselves and evolving with the trends ensures you don’t get trampled eventually. For relationships, there is never a clear cut road-map of how things would go,but the rule is when you are coming in, don’t come empty.
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