Dear Aunty Aurora,
My name is Bidemi. I am a 38 years old mother of two and I have been married for about twelve years now. The predicament I find myself presently is something I won’t even wish on my enemy. For the past six years, my husband has been out of job. His company let him go after a major downsizing and not only did the incident affect us financially, my husband took it really hard.
I have tried every means I know of helping him but at the moment I am on the brink of giving up. Personally its been harder on me and I think my husband is just being selfish. Despite all I do to ensure we have a roof over our head, food on the table and prompt payment of our children’s school fees this man seems to be out to frustrate my effort. He steals from me to hang out with friends, stays out late and would throw a major tantrum if I should ask why he has stopped applying for jobs. To me, he is intentionally being insensitive and dumping his responsibilities on me. How long I can continue with this, I am no longer sure? But I will be very grateful if you can advice me on what move I should make next.
Every marriage has its own peculiar challenge and because of this we can’t proffer the same solution for different couples. In your case, the first thing you need to do is get your husband help. Obviously he is depressed and the fight has gone out of him. He needs to get himself together and fix his current situation because his actions and inactions affects you and your kids as well. Getting him professional help will enable him confront his fears faster and start the journey towards turning his life around. This is not the time to play victim either because he needs to understand the seriousness of the situation on ground. Give him an ultimatum if need be but always bear in mind that you are not just doing this for him but for yourself and your kids. Photo Credit: Getty
Dear Aunty Aurora,