Let’s start by eulogising our own Omo Akin, Ekun, Okunrin Meta…the Yoruba Spiderman with cucumber shaped-tool complemented by savvy youthful movement, dexterity and agility – Ikuforiji Olaitan aka Oxlade… Oxlade, padi chop knuckle….Seven Gbosa for you!
Some weeks ago, I lamented to you guys on the latest craze sweeping the country as sex tapes are been released daily by the daughters of Eves. As the patron of Sharp Naija Guy, I vividly remember noting that the truth is that, just about every guy and girl in Naija likes sex and if given the opportunity will do a sextape.
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I proceeded to advise guys on getting ready for any eventuality whilst stress the need to master different positions in the other room.
Afterall from Aunty Tiwa to twerking Jane Mena, our eyes have been inundated with some images of adults doing what adults do when the think nobody is watching.
Yet, while I clapped for the guys in the videos, I have always like most sharp guys felt that the guys in the videos didn’t honourably represent us. I’ve always said what’s what doing at all, is what doing exceedingly well.
So I’ve always maintained that the guy in our Aunty’s video tape could have through the released tape built a database of ladies just looking for a damn good no-strings f*ck, if he bossed and owned that p*ssy properly.
I lamented that those guys in the tapes really fall our hands and should have savagely ravaged the p*ssies like it’s just a one-night stand. And thank goodness Oxlade, read and listened to his elders and SNGs, when he was called upon to perform his manly duties – He delivered with flying colours.
Please don’t get me wrong, Oxlade’s performance is better than all the dissatisfying ones we have have seen so far but there’s massive room for improvement. Yet, for his performance he has to be certified GOLD on our On Kpansh Hall Of Fame.
On the rules, though it might appear to be the same for both gender in Naija, they are very different. Who woos who in a relationship? Who pays for the dinner or lunch on the first date? In whose house is the deed most often get done? For most guys in Naija, we have to suffer a lot especially financial and emotional when it comes dating.
So please before we start deceiving ourselves, let’s just allow the guys Kpensh in peace and enjoy the only thing that seem to bring them satisfaction. Is that too much to ask without comparing Oxlade’s hailing to our Aunty. Okay, it’s not fair but na so we meet am abeg…no be guys write the rule. Face our Naija society, religion, culture and Sai Baba. Oxlade, Nothing do you!
In the meantime, anytime you see Oxlade, give him a Twale – the boy deserves it.
Photo Credit: Getty