So you’re a Lagos guy with a hot babe and have been wondering about having a threesome. As you’ve probably noticed, there’s one more key ingredient you need. And as you’ve either noticed or are about to discover, most Nigerian women aren’t actually threesome-dispensing good fairies.
Stereotypes aside, are also interested in threesomes like the rest of the country’s population. And some of us who are interested are only interested in threesomes with two gorgeous women.
Much like with a unicorn of legend, you need to approach this with patience and tact. Here are 7 good pointers.
1. Make sure you’re all on the same page: Before you even start your quest, you and your girlfriend should do some serious talking and lay down some ground rules. Is this going to be your gilfriend and your guest having sex while you’re having a good time off to the side, or will you be joining in? Is kissing okay? Is your girlfriend okay with you penetrating another woman? Are you expecting it to be the two ladies focusing on you, or you and your guest focusing on your girlfriend, or just one big tangle? If it happens in your bed, is that going to be a wash-the-sheets-and-keep rolling kind of thing, or will you remember it every time you two hop in after that? In a good way or a weird way?
2. Make damn sure you both really want this: The second reason most people turn down threesomes is that we all are adults and can reasonably tell if all parties aren’t really into the idea. Maybe the fantasy was a fun idea to play with, but suddenly the reality doesn’t feel so great. Or maybe one of the girls never liked the fantasy in the first place. Your wife or girlfriend has to really want to do this, not just go along with it to please you. Make sure. Asking your unicorn to have sex with someone who isn’t attracted to her is no fun for either of the women involved. Is She Really Down for a Threesome?
3. Be a man about it if your girlfriend says no: Life does not always give us what we want, and that goes triple for threesomes, when the wants and needs of two other people are in the mix. Sometimes girlfriends feel like a threesome is indicative of you not thinking she’s enough on her own. Or maybe she just isn’t interested in sleeping with another woman. Her reasons for saying no may be something she’ll get past, or they may not. Could you get past her asking if the two of you could invite another dude into your bed?
Absolutely establish a calm and safe time for talking, and explain why you think a threesome would be so hot. Have some specific reasons and think about her feelings when you explain them. And absolutely encourage her to talk about her own fantasies. But don’t cajole, don’t whine, and don’t fulfill one of her fantasies and then say ha ha, now she has to fulfill one of yours. Nobody feels sexy when they’re being badgered. Pushing too much for a threesome means you’re heading for a breakup, not a sex party.
Yes, you want a threesome. But why do you want a threesome with her? Is it because you want to see her face while someone else is giving her pleasure? Is it because you’ve noticed her staring at other women occasionally and would love to be there while she explores that side of herself? Would it be a hot thing that would rev up your you-two sex life for months to come? What’s in it for her?
Okay, so your girlfriend is on board and you’ve set your ground rules. Let’s find you a unicorn.
5. Be polite, ask nicely, and take no for an answer: Remember what I just mentioned about people treating women like stereotypes? Apply that here too. Being treated like a ravenous sexbot by strangers is not fun. Not only are women getting proposition after proposition from men and/or couples who just want to slot them into a threesome. You may want to take the leap and strike a balance between being upfront about what you want and some basic get-to-know-you stuff.
6. Let the women negotiate this: I know you’re really excited about this happening soon, but unfortunately, you are in all likelihood the one your unicorn is most worried about. I’m sorry about that. I know that you, like 98% of all straight dudes in Lagos, would never even think of forcing yourself on a woman. Unfortunately, the remaining 2% are the ones who have been doing the advance work. And they hide by looking just like you, trust me! So absolutely be fun and friendly, but hang back a bit. And make it very, very clear that if this all goes down, you will be respecting your unicorn’s boundaries.
7. Remember that your unicorn is a person: The thing about trying to draw a woman in for a threesome is that you’re essentially asking her to be your sex toy for the night. Treating a woman like a fuckbot because of her fantasy or ‘want’ is creepy. Treating her like a potential third in a really fun time is the key. What with all your talking and thinking, you and your girlfriend even have some preconceived notions about how you want your unicorn to behave. So you’re asking her to play right into a stereotype. You and your ladyfriend have each other after this-in fact, you will probably want to pay some extra attention to your girl to reinforce that you-two bond-but your unicorn is back out on her own. And back out on her own may be exactly what your unicorn wants to be. Just make sure her needs get met too before you say goodbye.Photo Credit: Getty
