Love they say is blind, and the heart chooses who it chooses. As that sharp naija guy, you dating your friend’s ex is breaking the bro code, and the bro community might never forgive you.
But if you insist on threading this very thin line, there are some things you must take note, to prevent a catastrophic situation.
1) Don’t gossip
Have it at the back of your mind that you were not privy to their misunderstanding, so avoid gossiping about your friend to the babe. Also resist the urge to share details of the babe with your friend. Keep a sealed lip from both parties at all time.
2. Don’t trash talk
It’s OK to come to your partner for advice if you’re arguing with your friend, or vice versa, but absolutely resist the urge to belittle or insult one of them to the other. This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you’ll find a sympathetic ear.
3. Respect boundaries without making assumptions.
For instance, if your friend doesn’t want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don’t pressure her. But don’t assume she doesn’t want an invite if you haven’t asked! In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don’t push them to associate if they’re not into it.
4. Don’t be paranoid.
Don’t try to keep your girlfriend and your bud from associating because you’re afraid they still have feelings for each other, and don’t constantly seek reassurance that that’s not the case. Trust that your dude is with you because he likes you and you’re awesome, not because he’s biding his time until your friend takes her back.
5. Don’t pry into their relationship.
It may be tempting ask your friend to analyze what happened between the two of them so that you can avoid making the same mistakes, but resist that urge. As that sharp naija guy, don’t grill your boyfriend on what went wrong or insist that he account for his behavior throughout the entire time they dated.
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