Nnamdi, have you ever heard of the saying that ‘Man Shall Not Live By Bread Alone’. Men will always be men, so you should ‘free’ yourself and be a man; and living in Nigeria, you will assuredly be offered different side dishes beside your ‘madam’.
The truth of the matter is that you might not know that you are being prepositioned, unless you are a sharp guy…trust me all those late calls and gists from that babe is not just to check how you are doing. She wants to play in your league and just in case you accept, reject, or attack any transfer move, smartly follow this golden seven commandments. You will thank me later.
1. Never Ever EVER Let Your Side-chick fall in love with you or you EVER fall in love with the side-chick. If she is not your madam, then she is your side-chick and she is probably a side-chick to another person, so believe me all hell will be loose if you dare to move her to ‘madam’ status. Always remember she has a timeframe, so it’s just physical not emotional or real.
2. Do Not Commit or Promise Marriage, It’s All About Fun: All men are like babies. Like children who need to be pampered all the time and want our egos massaged. The modern ‘madam’ is a busy woman, who has to juggle career and family, and has little time allocation for stroking your over-inflated ego. Hence the need of a side-chick, she’s there to afford you some distraction from work and family. She is there to have all the fun in the world with you, but she knows she should not expect any commitment. She is a toy that you take out of the box when you need her and you will be stupid to treat a Naija side-chick more than that.
3. Have a Military-style schedule: Unlike the emotional commitment above, you must have a structured schedule so that your side-chick knows exactly when she is on shift. You must define if you will be available only on 2 days, so that she too can programme her schedule for the other guy.
4. Enjoy it while it last: Even for all the side-chicks, they most-times want to be the madam, so if she wants to be ‘freed’, allow her to go, but make sure you have enjoyed as much as possible.
5. Special Occasions Are Special: She is your side-chick not an animal, so have the decency to remember her birthdays, graduations, anniversaries or days that are truly important to her.
6. Sex should be ‘protected’: Skin to skin is the best and the most natural and beautiful thing God created to be shared, with that special person. As she is not that special person, Nnamdi, abeg use a ‘raincoat’. If you are Yoruba or your side-chick is Yoruba, please double the protection. Using protection more importantly helps limit the number of diseases/infections you will be taking home to your madam.
7. Be Respectful but only to your Madam: Guy, even Jay-Z that is with Beyonce, had a side-chick, but remember his words of wisdom in his “’03 Bonnie & Clyde” song – The problem is you dudes treat the one that you lovin’, With the same respect that you treat the one that you humpin’. Respect your madam and have unrestricted fun with your side-chick. Simple.
Photo Credit: Getty
