Friday, October 7, 2022

That Sharp Naija Guy: 3 Reasons Why You Must Never Marry A Virgin In Nigeria

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Biola, get in here fast and let’s quickly discuss this. Your nagging question is really valid and you need a sharp guy living in this our special country to tell you the absolute truth.You know your dad does not have the time to sit you down and talk about women and marriage with you…remember Baba is still hustling!. And can you imagine the discussion with Mummy Biola? Where you go start guy? Your church pastor is busy counting tithes while your friends don’t particularly know better.The truth is whether it be for religious reasons, nerves, or just straight-up timing, some people choose to wait until marriage to have sex for the first time. And whether it’s as magical as a double rainbow or awkward as an ob-gyn visit, one thing’s for sure: if you are marrying a virgin, sex is anything but predictable. Here are 3 coded reasons why you must never marry a Naija virgin:

  1. Chioma Is Probably Not A Virgin: Biola, to clearly understand my sharp point, let’s use this recent case in China (world most populous country), where there was an outrage when a hospital requested for female virgins’ blood. Researchers needed it for studies on the human papilloma (HPV), which is usually transmitted through sexual contact. Peking University Cancer Hospital in China put out the request for female virgins between the ages of 18 to 24. Guan Jiuping, the hospital’s spokes woman, said virgins’ blood is helpful because risk for virus is low among women who have not had sex. Guan said: ‘So far, only 50 self-proclaimed virgins have donated their blood to science,’ but that, ‘the number of actual virgins (even among the 50), may be smaller.’’ Okay, you’re right that that is in China. But as a Sharp Naija guy, you must face up to the possibility that your beloved Chioma is probably not a virgin. A recent survey about what percentage of Nigerian girls between the ages of 18 and 21 are virgins, shows that only 5% of the girls are virgins. Shine your eyes!
  2. Your First Night Together Won’t Be So Romantic, Passionate or Enjoyable For You or Chioma: If you are lucky enough that Chioma is really a virgin, then congratulations.You will both have to wait until marriage. There will be so much tension and build-up months before the main night. You will have so many expectations and fears going into it. What if she did it wrong? What if it hurts her? What if she hates it or she loves it? Would she want you to read the book of Psalms, Kings or Malachi before starting? special prayers or anointing? She would have imagined a romantic, passionate first time. Trust me, it will be awkward and very funny. Can you remember your little brother, niece or nephew taking their first steps, learning to eat or knotting their first tie (Did I hear you say he still doesn’t know how to knot correctly?).
  3. Chioma’s inexperience Might Lead To The Break-up of Your Marriage: Biola, you must have heard about all those top footballers that have been sent out on loans by various clubs, just to gain experience. Even, if you are not into sports, you should by now realise that all Naija university students are sent on internship to gain experience. So think about it, you cannot send your new wife to Bolaji to help her gain some valuable experience. Yet, every time you’re with her, she’s like a log in bed.Naturally as a sharp guy, you will want to try new formation and systems and Chioma’s inexperience at her ‘game’ will make things frustrating and pathetic for you. Then what happens when a man finds that his lovely wife can’t rise to the occasion…that he will never be able to become a world-class striker or that their marriage might never be consumated? Before you know it, you are likely to re-connect with long lost friends, ‘sisters’ and acquaintances that are often very willing to show you their skills and prowess. And this my friend will probably lead to a breakup of your marriage. Photo Credit: Getty
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