That Sharp Naija Guy: 11 Reasons You Should Be Dating An Older Woman

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As a young sharp guy, growing up in Lagos there are alot of dating scenarios, just like most people see and ponder about. Why must I always date someone younger than me? I often wonder whilst daydreaming in my hall of residence during my days at the famous University of Lagos. Why would I even consider dating an older woman, when the ‘ground is full’ of younger girls? I often wondered and my friends will concur! But, I was young, daring and never deterred about varying views on dating older women, so after having a ‘ball’ with the ‘fresh fishes’, I sojourned on the ‘older fishes’ and the truth is that ‘older can really be better’.The fact is that older women dating younger men may not be the most traditional thing you’ll see. But when it comes to younger men dating much older women, there’s a whole different set of power dynamics at play. Times have changed, and as a rule society doesn’t tend to judge a woman for pursuing love and sex in the way that it used to.Afterall, actor Jason Momoa, 40, is married to his wife, actress Lisa Bonet, 51. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade, Peter Okoye of P-Square and Lola Omotayo, Dare Art-Alade and his wife Deola Ayeni, then there’s French President Emmanuel Macron, 41, and his 66-year-old wife Brigitte. But it’s not only younger famous men who understand the attraction to mature women.

Are you still not thinking about dating older women? Well stop thinking and start learning my guy. Look around you, there’s a lot of single older ladies like Genevieve Nnaji, Ini Edo, Rita Dominic, Yvonne Jegede, Tonto Dikeh, Mercy Aigbe, Toke Makinwa and more. Trust me there are a ton of fantastic advantages you can experience by dating older women.

Guy, you still don’t believe me?  Here are just 6 of the best reasons to consider dating an older women in 2020.

1. Older women are (Honestly) crazy about younger men: Guy, dating younger women is fun but dating older women is so crazy and enjoyable.  It’s flattering for an older woman when a guy passes up on the younger girls in favour of her.  This attention makes her feel hot and sexy, and that feeling will instantly fuel your interactions with more passion and excitement. Now while older women are often interested in dating younger men, they actually don’t want to date “boys”.  They want strong, powerful men and you’ve got to show her you’re that kind of man – who just happens to be a bit younger.

2. You are punching above your age : When dating older women, it’s important to bear in mind that you may be at very different stages in your lives. You might still be establishing your career, living in rented accommodation, or saving up to for a postgraduate. She, on the other hand, may already be settled, financially secure, maybe even a mother.

This doesn’t apply to everyone, of course. But, if you are living a different lifestyle to the person you’re dating, it will likely lead to conflict. Try to establish what you’re both looking for from the relationship in the early days, so you can be sure you want the same things.

3. Guy, your lifestyles are different: Older women are likely going to have different interests than their younger counterparts.  The 22-year-old who goes clubbing every weekend is probably going to spend more nights in calmer environments (like a jazz bar, or home) by the time she hits 30.  So if you’re interested in spending time in more low-key environments, then dating older women is a great way to go.

4. Older women are direct and upfront: Unlike a lot of my ‘fresh fishes’ who are still exploring the dating world, older women have a much stronger idea of what they want.  They’re less inclined to “playing games” and more willing to go after exactly what it is they desire. What this means is that you can be more direct and up-front with your own intentions and desires.

5. Older women have more experience: They don’t call them cougars for nothing! Women reach their sexual peak later in life than men, so an older woman and younger man may find that they’re perfectly in sync sexually. Older women know what they want, so be prepared for her to tell you – relinquish control and go with it. Older women tend to have more experience in dating, relationships, and in the bedroom. So dating older women gives you a great opportunity to learn a thing or two in all these areas.

6. Older women have families and dreams too! If having a family is important to you, then this is something to consider when dating an older woman. She may already have a child or children, which will bring its own challenges and rewards. A responsibility like children will restrict spontaneity and you won’t always be the priority in her life. Similarly, if you dream of having children of your own, a mature woman may not want to revisit that part of her life. Or you might need to move faster than you’d like to ensure the best chances of success. Think about what you want from a long-term relationship and check that your values are aligned.

7. You gain a different perspective: If you’re used to dating younger women or women your age then dating women a few years older than you gives you a fantastic opportunity to grow. Relationships teach us a lot about ourselves so by dating a wide variety of women you open yourself up to learn more about who you are. One of the best ways to learn and grow through a relationship comes through deep rapport. Rapport is essentially sharing your emotional world with one another. It also helps her feel safe opening up, which is going to make the connection even stronger.  As a result of this deeper connection you’ll be able to learn more about yourself, each other, and the nature of your relationship.

8. The Naija social factor is real: Having people turn around and looking at you and your lady or people talking about you may sound like a small thing, but it can be surprisingly important. You might think that shared values and personality traits are the things that really matter when it comes to being compatible long-term but trust me social factors and interests do still play a part. Be very prepared.

9. Growing up and Health: Health and ageing won’t be a pressing concern for many younger men dating older women but, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, they’re good to be aware of. How will you feel if your partner retires while you still face years of working? Are you prepared to care for an elderly partner rather than enjoy your retirement travelling and having new experiences? You’ll likely sacrifice many things for someone that you love but it’s worth considering what the future may hold so that you’re fully prepared.

10. Flings: Not every mature woman is looking for a long-term relationship with a younger man. She may be just looking for a fling with someone carefree who isn’t looking for something serious either. If this sounds good to you, go for it. But if you’re looking for something a little more serious, make this clear from the outset. It’s best to be honest and avoid heartbreak further down the line.

11. Older women are wise and more mature: An older woman will have learned from her experience and be wise to any tricks. She’s heard all the tired chat-up lines and stories, and can easily spot if you’re anything less than genuine. If your intentions for dating older women are sincere, you won’t have a problem. She’ll appreciate you for who you really are and be honest with you too. Women who have more life experience are going to be more emotionally mature. They’ve been through a lot more in their life so their going to be less reactive and have more control over their emotions and behaviours. But don’t forget that just because older women are more mature doesn’t mean they don’t like having fun. So if you’re chatting up an older woman, you may want to use a playful banter line like “this is never going to work out… you’re too young for me”.  A line like that is great because not only does it get her laughing, but by joking about the age difference you show you’re not concerned about it.

Photo Credit: Getty

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