I have heard a lot about ‘purity pledge’ and several religious teachings about not having sex until you get married.Hey, I’m all for people putting off sex until they’re married and can handle the ramifications. Because even with safe sex, sex comes with responsibilities. It does tend to emotionally bond you to someone – especially for women – and that can mean getting emotionally attached to the wrong person. Once sex enters the equation, a relationship is never the same.But we have heard several women cheating on their husbands just on the basis on sex or better put not having sex before their wedding. This often lead to an incredibly short starter marriage. Once women realises that they and their new husbands have absolutely zero sexual chemistry, many often count down the days until they could get a divorce or separated. It is shocking to know that women that divorce typically know their marriage won’t last in the few days of their wedlock. Here’s 7 reasons to get rid of that waiting to have sex notion and do the dirty before you say “I do.”
1. Sexual compatibility or chemistry: Sexual chemistry is something that can really only be ascertained by, well, having sex. Some women would make talk, gist and even kiss for hours with their potential husbands before their marriage, so thinking that would translate into awesome horizontal mambo. But, sorry to tell you the obvious, theory is different from practical. Sexual compatibility matters in relationships, and bad sex, for many people, might be a dealbreaker. Take the car out for a test drive, and if the stick shift feels awkward to you or the airbags frighten you, move along. Someone else will be happy to drive that car.
2. Sexual identity. I know too many couples where one partner was able to cover up his or her true sexual persuasion because he or she simply didn’t have sex with a partner. Not having sex with the opposite sex can also mean you or your partner ignore those longings you might have for the same sex, and therefore don’t acknowlege them.
3. Sex itself. Not everyone is great in bed, and most people don’t start out very good at all. A lot of good sex is about listening to your partner and being able to respond accordingly. But how do you know if someone is a good listener or responder unless you try it first?
4. Size. Don’t you want to know if your husband is packing a hunting rifle or a tiny little plastic kid’s pistol? After all, he knows how big your boobs are. I’m not saying size would be a dealbreaker, but don’t you have the right to know what’s down there?
5. Sexual issues. Sexual problems like premature ejaculation, inability to get an erection, or even an allergy to your partner’s semen are all possibilities, wouldn’t you rather deal with those issues before you’re married? This way you know if the person is even going to deal with them.
6. Not Sticking with Tradition or beliefs: 80% of Nigerians have sex before they get married. Even in previous generations, the vast majority of Nigerians got busy before they tied the knot. So pretending that abstinence is a viable option for any meaningful segment of the population is at best obtuse and at worst really, really, really dumb.
7. Premarital Sex Leads to more stable marriages: Sex, as in having it before you get married, is associated with longer, more stable marriages. Why? Because feminism. A society that encourages women to prioritise participation outside of the home leads to more women choosing to go to university, to build a stable career before they focus on partnering up and settling down. Because sexuality is a human need, it stands to reason that during that time they’re focused on being things other than wives and mothers, they’d be enjoying sex. Which is fine! Because after they get married, women who got had sex earlier in life tend to stay married, tend to raise more successful children, and tend to be happier. It only makes sense to rationalise that if you are happy in your relationship because you have a healthy sex life, then your marriage will be more stable and robust.Let’s face it, sex plays a big role in marriage. Just like you should discuss children, religion, and where you both want to live before tying the knot, sex is too big of a part of a relationship to leave to chance.Photo Credit: Getty