Affairs of the heart are tricky. One partner in a relationship having an affair complicates things farthest.
However, this is not to mean that a relationship with two willing parties, can’t overcome this sort of challenge. After a mature conversation and action, a failing relationship can be resuscitated. Here are some ways through which this might be possible.
1. Figure out why you cheated: There could be many reasons as to what led you to move off your relationship commitments. Could it be the long distance, an argument that led to a separation of sorts, or inner issues that you could be acting from? Whichever the case and more, getting to the root cause of your straying should guide you on how to right your wrongs and how you react.
2. Cut off communication with the other person: It makes no sense to say you won’t eat a carrot then someone begins dangling it in front of you. Especially when hunger strikes, you’ll pounce on that carrot and eat it. Similarly, having deviated before, you’ll be putting your healing relationship at risk when you keep contacting the very person that tore it apart. Delete the number, stop giving in to responding to their flirtatious text messages and for Pete’s sake, avoid that joint you’d go together like a plague.
3. Acknowledge that you were wrong: Being sorry is one thing, and acting like someone who’s sorry is another. Today, where sorry is just a word, you’ve got to acknowledge that you made a mistake and that you hurt your partner. This comes with expecting them to show their hurt feelings, their frustrations and anger because, they didn’t deserve it.
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4. Give your partner time to heal: Imagine a broken glass. Pick some glue and see yourself trying to patch it up. First, the glass doesn’t get back to how it was. Secondly, the glass takes a new form and is weak in the beginning. This represents how tough it is to trust again after a cheating experience. Expect your partner to take a lot of time to heal from that experience. Saying sorry and expecting your partner to ‘accept and move on’ is plainly unfair.
5. Be honest: When the great said that honesty is the best policy, they knew what they meant. To heal your relationship better, both of you have to agree that your relationship had piles of lies, which can’t continue in the future. Having a Truth Only policy will boost your relationship and help you work your way up as you improve the trust between you two.
6. Seek professional help: A therapist can play a great role in helping to heal your relationship. By attending therapy sessions, both of you get expert advice and exercises from a non-biased party. Since therapists have dealt with such cases before, they are able to aid you in getting to the bottom of the matter.
Not all is lost once a cheating escapade happens. Amidst all the pain, two willing parties can walk out of such fire alive.
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