Deciding to end a relationship is never an easy thing to do – but sometimes it’s necessary. And if the first weeks of January weren’t bad enough, it’s also the time when relationships are more likely to come to an end.
In fact, January is the month when issues within long-term relationships usually come to a head after the New Year. Although getting over a break-up is tough and there are no quick fixes to take away the pain, moving on from a relationship that’s ended begins with you. We suggest five ways to navigate a break-up…
1. Be kind to yourself All too often it’s easy to beat yourself up about what you did or didn’t do in your failed relationship. But being kind to yourself could help cope with a broken heart. It is a time to find the time to nurture yourself. Take the support and offers of help from others – it’s not the time to strike out by yourself. For example, if someone was looking for a new job at the same time as a relationship break-up, you probably don’t want to be going for job interviews in the first few days afterwards, as you will be feeling a bit more vulnerable – so you need to look after yourself a bit. It is recommended that doing whatever works for you – this may mean pampering yourself, doing more exercise, eating the right foods, or seeing the friends who can help you and not the friends who are going to make you feel worse and challenge you about it.
2. Avoid making big decisions and be realistic with your expectations Break-ups can be a confusing time and your decision-making skills can often be compromised. Avoid making major decisions straight after your break-up while emotions are running high.So don’t change your life, don’t resign from your job, don’t sign up to a very expensive new course – don’t do anything like that in the first two weeks after a break-up.
3. Limit the contact you have with your ex-partner as much as possible Asking questions about your ex to mutual friends and stalking on Facebook can be so temping, but ultimately it can make you feel worse. You may be asking if they’ve met anybody else or if they’re upset – and if you hear that they’re actually okay, it can make you feel worse. Social media, of course, is such a problem for this because you can always find out what everybody else is doing. So, the best thing you can do is withdraw from too much contact with the people who know that person. What you have got to ask yourself is if this is going to make you feel better – and most people will probably admit that it makes them feel worse.
4. Use common sense with who you choose to confide in When emotions are high, it’s easy to openly express where things went wrong in the relationship to both his friends and yours. And telling every single person that you know about how they did they dirty on you is probably not going to be very helpful in the long-term. So contacting his family and having a bitch about how much he hurt you is not going to be a good thing to do. So, just think about confiding in a few people who are on your side, who will be supportive rather than publicising all the ins and outs of what went wrong with your relationship on social media.
5. See the benefits of being single A new study found that singles realise that there are a lot more benefits about being on their own – with nearly half of singles agreeing that being it is better than being in a bad relationship. So If you can see a break-up as an opportunity to have some independence, time to yourself, and a way of finding time to pick up some hobbies that you haven’t had time to do since being with your partner – then actually it can make you a happier individual and you are going to be better suited to getting back into a good relationship when you next meet somebody.
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