Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Relationship: 10 Things Not To Do After A Nasty Breakup

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Break ups. They are an unfortunate rites of passage in life and even the most amicable of parting ways can sting. When it is traumatic, the heartache and bitterness can be suffocating and seem like the end of the world. But in the midst of the bleakness, there are some 10 solid rules and principles to hold on to to get us through those stormy waters safely. They work like anchors to steady you.
1. Do Not Resent
Resentment, as they say, is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy dies. Don’t waste time in resentment and anger. These uncomfortable pangs are distractions from feeling the real emotions associated with grief that can be hard to face, but worth it. Grief holds you back from finding a more fulfilling relationship. Talk about your hurts with friends, cry, write, exercise, anything but resentment.2. Do Not Seek To Revenge
While the thought of keying your ex’s car, kidnapping his/her mother, or destroying their stuff may sound like a good idea in your head, don’t do anything malicious or that could land you in legal trouble. You may have been deeply wronged, but “getting even” won’t heal any wounds. Choose to take the high road and forgive and move on.3. Do Not Communicate In Any Form
Tempted to text or call your ex about it? Don’t. There will be times when it’s important to communicate with an ex probably when you need to return their things. However, resist the urge to call or text whenever you would have when you were still dating. Many people feel lost after a breakup; not because they miss their ex, but because so many of their daily habits once revolved around someone else. Give yourself some time to adapt to single life.4. Do Not Social-Media-Stalk Your Ex
Social media can be dangerous when dealing with heartache. Give yourself two rules: Don’t post anything about the breakup drama online, no matter how vague, and resist the urge to stalk your ex. “Defriending” or at least hiding statuses can help you avoid the constant temptation to check in and see if your ex is living a life more miserable — or worse, more awesome — than yours.5. Do Not Beg For Reconciliation
Maybe you don’t understand why it ended. Maybe you think it ended for the wrong reasons. Maybe you’d just rather be in a bad relationship than be in no relationship at all. I still can’t find a reason why you should beg for reconciliation. Instead of clinging to lost hope, find a wise friend who can help you walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time letting go. Deep down, you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you had to beg to be with you. Besides, if your ex rejects you a second time, it won’t just hurt; the rejection will sting with extra humiliation and regret.6. Do Not Get Too Dramatic
Your life is not over. The end of a relationship is a serious opportunity for excitement and newness. Look to your future and see what you can do to make it better. Focus on finding activities and people to enrich your days, or even begin a new venture or interest. But do not walk around looking all ragged and telling your story in between sobs to every acquaintance you run into.7. Do Not Repeat Your Mistakes
Look at your split as a learning experience. Every disappointment is a learning moment. When you start dating again, be sure to avoid the patterns of your last relationship. After the initial upset, review the dynamics of the relationship and analyze what went wrong, what you could have done better and what you learned. This is not an excuse to beat yourself up though.8. Do Not Isolate Yourself
You don’t have to go right out and date again. But there’s a lot of wiggle room between dating again and solitary confinement. You should have a social life and gather your loved ones around you. Even if you don’t think you feel ready to see people, spend time your closest friends and family members. They’ll help you heal, and remind you that you still have people who love you.9. Do Not Try To Be Just Friends With Your Ex
Very rarely can a breakup lead to a solid friendship, and until you’re okay with the idea of your ex dating someone new — and vice versa — you’re not ready to be pals. Create intentional space for a while and let yourself mourn the end of the relationship. If your ex is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you’re uncomfortable with the idea. Right now, you’re not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart.10. Do Not Avoid Meeting Someone New
Don’t give up on meeting your perfect match. Once you’re ready to dip your toe back into the dating game there are plenty of ways to meet new people – from online dating to starting a new hobby or exercise class.Photo Credit: Getty

Also Read:  Men Who Eat Nuts Are Better In Bed And Have Better Orgasms, Study Reveals
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