Marriage is one of the most important part of a person’s life. Ending up with a wrong person comes with ugly consequences, so its best you make the right decision. Sometimes just liking a person might not be a guarantee that he or she is right for you so better look before you leap. When you decide to commit to marriage, remember it is a life time commitment not like dating were you can choose to walk out the door at any point in time. When getting married to a person, you are involving your family, friends and your future kids. Knowing your spouse in every way helps a lot since nothing becomes a surprise after you tie the knot. Below are 6 important details you must know about your spouse before choosing to settle down in marriage with them.
1. Medical Background And Challenges: This is very important for your emotional health and also the health of your future kids. You both should be able to discuss about your family medical history, genetic background, accidents, surgeries, acute or chronic illnesses, genetic illnesses in the family. You should also discuss mental traumas, abuse and other psychological challenges. You shouldn’t be ashamed of talking about your medical challenges because you owe your future spouse these information.
2.Family/Cultural Similarities And Differences: This is very important because over time, you will get to relate with your future spouse family. Knowing the similarities and differences of your culture gives you an idea of how to relate with your spouse family. This way you do not offend your in-laws unknowingly by not acting in accordance with their cultural principles.
3.Full Details Of Your Partners Financial Situation: This is very delicate to many people especially most men because they believe some women might just rip them off if they knew their financial status. Women on the other hand might not want to tell because they assume its a private part of their lives. Knowing your partners financial status is important especially if he or she is in debt. You should be able to have an idea of his/her earnings and assets. Another important thing is knowing their means of livelihood. You should be able to pin point their places of work for security purposes. The knowledge of your partners financial status is important for the growth and welfare of your future home. Topics like these can be discussed -Kind of lifestyle you want to cultivate, how your families addresses money,how you feel about combining finances, combining some finances, about keeping separate accounts,Keeping everything separate, saving plans e.t.c.
4. Career: How committed are both of you to your careers? Do you have a dream career? How does it affect your personal life and family? Are you a workaholic? Do you still have more schooling to do? Would you be leaving your partner to further your studies and how long? What sacrifices would you have to make for more achievements. Would these sacrifices affect either of you? These are questions that need answers to before tying the knot.
5.Sex: Sex is a crucial part of marriage, so knowing your partners views on sex is important. You both should discuss your interests as well as fears. Also talk about your fantasies and what you would like to try out with your partner. Remember your partner has a right to decline an offer if they do not feel comfortable with the ideas. But knowing about their sexual life helps you know how to please them. You should also discuss your views on having kids. If you would love to have kids or not and how many.
6.Location: I have a friend Natasha who met her spouse in the United Kingdom during her masters degree program. Due to the flow of overwhelming emotional feelings, they got married in the first five months they dated. Her husband Biodun got a Job in Nigeria and decided to return home. He asked her to come with him but she refused saying she wanted to spend her life abroad where she grew up. Her parents where in support of her decision and Biodun’s parents who wanted their son in Nigeria concluded that Natasha was selfish and might not make a good wife for their only son. With all these pressure, the marriage had to be dissolved. This story gives you every reason why discussing where you would love to raise a family is important. Some careers might require constant travelling but that does not mean you both would keep changing location, you can have a permanent residence.
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