Dear Aunty Aurora,I am writing to you because I have been following your column for a month and I like you non-judgemental approach to relationship issues. I know I am not a saint but I do not want to discuss this issue with other agony aunt in Nigeria, who like my friends will almost chop my ears off with abuse. I have just found out I am pregnant and the father could be any one of five men I have slept with recently. I am 29 and come from a poor background. I have worked hard all my life to send myself and siblings to school. I have a great management job in sales in a new generation bank, that takes me all over the country.I work and lead a fantastic team of men and women who are all single and work very hard to be successful. Over the past 12 months, I have had sex many times with most of the men and a couple of the women. It’s all been crazy but lots of sales work-related. Then, two weeks ago, I met this wonderful man at my friend’s party. Our eyes met across the room and that was it. We chatted, flirted, made one another laugh and we ended back to his flat, and we had amazing sex all night – and the next morning.I told him about my past because I do have a bit of a reputation but he just laughed it off. We are together now and I have more regrets about my past than he seems to. I know I will never want sex with anyone else while this man is in my life. He calls me every day and wants me to travel to his hometown with him for Christmas. But I missed one period, which I ignored – it sometimes happens – until I missed a second one. I took a pregnancy test and, to my horror, it was positive. I have no idea how or when as I always use contraception. I am terrified my lovely man will stop being so understanding when he finds out and I will lose him. I am not ready for a baby because of my job, and more importantly we have not discussed about marriage or starting a family together. What should I do Aunty Aurora? Ifeoma. Ikoyi, Lagos.Dear Ifeoma: You must know that you have a choice at this early stage of pregnancy, so are you looking to me to give you permission to ask for a termination? It is an important decision which can have long-term emotional effects, so first think clearly about who is the likely father. You’re panicking at the moment but a session with your diary and medical practitioner could help you work that out. Could it even be your lovely new man? If not, is the likely father someone who would welcome being an involved and supportive dad? If not, then would it even be fair to bring a child into this world with a reluctant mum and a father who doesn’t want to know? There’s so many questions that you need to answer first, and you must do this yourself. I hope everything goes well for you, your new man and the baby.Photo Credit: Getty
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