Dear Aunty Aurora,
I am 33 years old and I have been dating a 40 years old man for 5 years now. The problem is that I am not attracted to this guy though he is a good man, with a good heart, I love him, but not in love with him. I don’t know if I am making any sense, but I just feel like he is not really the one for me. Most times I feel like the man in the relationship because he does anything I want. I only have to say or ask for something and it is done.
At first I felt the difference in our personalities was a good thing but now, I just want a man who is a man. Truth is he has really helped me a lot financially and is even ready to marry me before the year runs out but I am just confused about our relationship. I want a man who can be in control because I can be very domineering too. I hope you understand my point of view as well. I know I am not getting younger either, please help.
Its a good thing you know you really need to figure out what you really want before you not only hurt your partner but also yourself. I get that you want an alpha male and all, thing is, most women do too, so you are not alone in your desire. But from what you have said, what I can deduce is that you are dissatisfied and bored most likely because you get your way too often. Your boyfriend is the way he is with you because that is his nature and because he loves you and wants to make you happy, it would be unfair of you to fault him for treating you well.
I believe you are aware that many women would give an arm and a leg to have what you have but also love is a choice as well. I also wonder why it took you five years to realise this, but I am not one to judge. To put things in perspective, ask yourself the following questions; Do I really want to end this relationship? Can I live with the outcome if I decide to stay or live? Does it really matter that our personalities are different? What is more important, Having a good man or a macho man?. At the end of your self-examination, I believe you will have more clarity on the issue, just don’t be in a haste to ditch what you have for the unknown.Aunty Aurora.
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Dear Aunty Aurora,