Monday, May 29, 2023

Aunty Aurora: How Do I Convince Her That I’m A Changed Man?

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Dear Aunty Aurora,
I apologise ahead if my letter sounds a bit abrupt but I am a man and pouring my heart out in a letter doesn’t come easy to me. The thing is I’m 31 and I won’t consider myself to be the most wonderful guy a woman can come by. My past isn’t so good and I have broken my fair share of hearts, for which I am really sorry now. I think Karma isn’t ready to forgive me though because I finally met a girl I would love to settle down with and my past has come back to bite me in the behind.
The issue now is that her best friend stayed in the same room as one of my ex-girlfriends back in the university. My relationship with the said ex didn’t end well and in fact it was really messy when we parted ways. I have had time to reflect on my past actions and I am a changed person but this girl’s bestie doesn’t know that yet. I have noticed that my girl’s attitude has changed towards me ever since her best friend got to know me as the guy she is dating. I really do love this girl and I am willing to do anything to keep her. Please how do I make her see that I am a changed person.
Michael, Lekki.
Dear Michael,
Youthful exuberance and that need to live your life all at once happens to lead to a lot of problems for many. When we are young, most of us don’t think ahead to reason out consequences of our actions or how our actions affect the lives of others. As long as consequences are not immediate, we go with the flow till something happens to change us. Your case isn’t different from those of several millions of men who end up regretting how they lived at a younger age. I am glad to know that you have made a lifestyle change on your own because that is the best way to change; without being compelled to by someone or something. My advice is that you open up about your past to your girlfriend.

Talking and effectively communicating how we feel solves most problems if not all. The way her best friend told the story will definitely be different from how you will tell it, but try not to judge her best friend or discredit her claims. Only explain your part and try to let her see how you have changed. The best way to do this is matching your words to your actions, because once she can learn to trust you, then you can move forward in your relationship.
Photo Credit: Getty

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