Well to keep it simple without no big English, Friends With Benefits FWB means an arrangement between 2 friends who get together to smash each other’s brains out. Sometimes it is referred to as a situationship.
Basically, it’s a situation where two friends decide to get sexual but not committed to each other. This isn’t a new phenomenon, but it seems to have gradually died down a bit after it was quite a popular thing just some years back when movies like “Friends With Benefits and “No Strings Attached” pushed the situationship narrative.
But, don’t be deceived the FWB game still exist it’s just not well practised and the waters of such have gotten muddy without a proper definition of what is being practised.
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How much, though, is the benefit people get from these friends with benefits situations? Do they even get any at all?
The obvious truth is if you get to meet a girl who is open to the idea that you both would get a lot of free sex without you necessarily having to provide the usual companionship, loyalty, care, love, emotional, physical and financial support you would need to provide if you both were actually dating in the traditional relationship form.
In other to avoid these murky waters and blurring the lines of just being in a situationship and a relationship, here below are the 5 most important rules to follow;
- Set Clear Rules: Yeah, know exactly what you’re getting into once you both to be friends with benefits and know what you both are about set properly defined roles and goals. Know when to call, days when you both meet to smash, you can’t just show up at each other’s place unannounced and uninvited. Both have to know no public hanging out like a couple no holding hands no cuddling after smash. Yo! you bloody as hell have to keep it emotionally neutral.
- Know What You Both Stand To gain: You both need to make it as clear as possible you both need to know what you stand for in the relationship. Agree in clear terms what you both stand to get and gain going into the situations. Doodley dolling about its a smash engagement.
- Agree To Both Not Get Over Demanding: Remember you both can’t start getting over-demanding for each other’s attention, in terms of time and physical presence. Also, you must both know this is platonic so financial obligations are isn’t part of the deal, you give only if you can and not because you have too.
- Agree When To Have Your Sex Dates: This can’t be over-emphasised enough, don’t be at each other’s place 5 nights a week, no sleepovers allowed, its just a smash date. You smash and you bounce. You have to clearly define when your smash dates could be, if you both see to smash once a week or once every 2 weeks.
- Do Not Get Attached: This is the biggest problem of friends with benefit and why it fails most of the time. One of the party would always and most times get over-attached. Once one of the party gets too fond of the other and starts asking for more the whole arrangement is set-up to fail no matter what.
- Understand It’s Not Built To Last: Friends with benefits are most definitely not built to last. Some only last a week or two and some may last a few months. But it’s incredibly rare for them to last more than a year. Be aware of this going into it and enjoy it while it lasts.
N.B: FWB situationship usually puts precious friendships at risk. Even when people don’t have intentions for it to get messy, Konji is a bastard, sex tends to muddle feelings up. This is not to say that all FWB relationships end badly. Some of them actually transcend that physical relationship to become a real, committed one.
But for them to transcend a break-up needs to happen you both reaccess the relationship, and consciously choose to start all over again but this time as proper partners. Remember reaccess what you both want from the relationship there’s a reason why you wanted to keep it friends with benefits in the first place so when transcending be objective, rational and conscious about it.
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