It a new year and it is a time to refreshen and enjoy your loving relationship. You don’t have to be single to think about mixing things up when it comes to your love life, refreshing things with your long-cherished loved one can be important too. Relationship expert and psychotherapist Melissa Ferrari said that while it can be easier to keep ‘trundling along’, reflecting on improvement can have many positive effects.
‘The relationships we have with our nearest and dearest have a huge impact on our well-being and our sense of happiness,’ she explains.Here are three of the main ways you can refresh your relationship and make 2018 a fabulous year for you and your partner – and it doesn’t involve anything major.
1. Plan a different type of date night Life is busy and it’s easy to fall into a habit of not carving out special time to spend with your partner if you live with them. We see them at the breakfast table or while brushing our teeth and so we don’t necessarily make it a priority to actually go and do something with them when there are so many other pressing engagements. But Melissa explains that reconnecting on a continual basis is really important to keeping things fresh and bringing back ‘date night’ is a great way to do this. ‘Setting a date night where it’s just you and your partner, gives the relationship the opportunity to regroup,’ she said. ‘You sit there and reconnect with each other, gaze into each other’s eyes and remember “You and I are in this together”,’ she said.
2. Deal with any lingering resentment Sometimes you have to choose your battles for the sake of your relationship (and your sanity) but take some time to check in and make sure that you aren’t storing these grievances away. Angry feelings which haven’t been resolved effectively can often be a block to more tender emotions we may have once held towards a partner. Even though it might be trivial, incidents build up and can become a much larger mental block than you realise. ‘The new year is a great opportunity to address any issues around perceived inequality of chores,’ Melissa explains. ‘Even small changes can make such a huge difference to a couple’s everyday life and can prevent all manner of arguments ever rearing their head, giving your relationship a new lease on life.’
3. Work hard but play hard too It’s no secret: relationships can be hard work. But it’s important to make time to have fun too. Keeping the spark alive in a relationship isn’t always about hard work, factoring in some fun goes a long way too. Ms Ferrari advises that if you have some space over the holidays it’s a good idea to spend some time with your partner doing something new and different. ‘Whether it’s cycling, sailing, walking or dancing, whatever takes your fancy, choose to do something together,’ she said. ‘Making time to forget the chores and put down the “to do” lists can bring you back together as a couple, just in the moment, having fun, without the responsibilities.’
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