As we grow older, everything changes but ironically we all think sex stays the same until menopause. The truth is that shifts that start around your mid-30s can have a huge impact on what goes on in between the sheets – for better and for, well, not so good.
1. The “Dirty-30s” Aren’t Guaranteed:Â We’ve all heard that women hit their sexual peak starting in their late 30s and extending up to their early 40s, but that may not be true for everyone. “Many women are surprised to hear that their testosterone, the hormone of desire, starts to decline as early as in their 20s,” says Leah S. Millheiser, MD, director of the Female Sexual Medicine Program at Stanford Health Care. “But every woman experiences a drop of up to 50 percent in her testosterone levels between her 20s and 50s.” You know about the factor that’s coming next, but it’s worth a reminder: The stresses of life in your 30s (work, family, friends and when, exactly, are you supposed to fit in exercise again?) also interfere with this in-my-sexual-prime ideal. “Women are sexually plastic, meaning their desire is more impacted by outside factors than men’s,” says Millheiser. In other words, when life gets crazy, your sex drive goes to sleep.
2. The Magic Number Is Lower Than You Think: You can stop putting pressure on yourself to make time for twice – or thrice-weekly date nights. Couples reported peak happiness when they were having sex once per week, according to a recent study in. Researchers looked at data from more than 30,000 people and found that while having sex less frequently than that was linked to lower well-being, happiness leveled off at once a week – meaning twice-weekly sex didn’t make people twice as happy. So anytime you hear that sex gets less frequent as you get older and that that can put a strain on your relationship (hence the date nights), remember that once a week may be all you need.
3. It’s Easier To Reach Orgasms: Because by this point, you’ll have learned how to do it. Men orgasm when they ejaculate – it’s more of a mechanical process – but when women orgasm their brains have to get into it. So many women in their 20s are still focusing on intercourse as a key to orgasming; it can take until your mid-30s to realize what combination of touch and thought process will get you where you want to go.
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